The Bittersweet

Tomorrow’s Mothers Day.  An obvious fact, I know…

As facebook posts and tv ads promote the holiday and have all kinds of sweet reminders of moms, I’ve been thinking of my mom a lot.

The holiday is bittersweet for me.

As a little girl, I couldn’t understand why anyone would be sad on a holiday.  It was all dinners and gifts and happy and celebrating to me.  What was there to be sad about anyway, I wondered?

Now I know.

As the pages of the calendar of my life have routinely flipped over year after year, so, too, have come the realities of life.

Loss.

Mourning.

Change.

Sometimes holidays can bring memories to the surface that haven’t been thought of for ages.

That’s a good thing.

I remember a multitude of happy memories with my mom.

It’s also a sad thing.

I mourn the losses that come with the reality of dementia.

Oh, I miss the mom I once had.

Oh, I still love her so much…

***

As I was walking up the hill today, it started to drizzle a bit.  After many days of bright sunshine and warm weather, the rain seems a bit shocking again.  I got to pondering the fact that if we had no rain, we wouldn’t be nearly as thankful for the sunshine.

It reminded me of my situation with my mom.

It is because of the precious, precious wonderful memories I shared with her that makes me mourn during this season of silence with dementia.  So many people mourn because they have no precious childhood memories.

I mourn…

because I did.

I choose today to be grateful for that.

me and mom cropped

***

Now, I certainly don’t want to leave this post on such a sad note, so I want to share this video that made me laugh out loud…

Happy Mothers Day to you.  I’m thrilled that all three of my boys are home to share this holiday with me.  I’m also excited about the new patio chairs I’m going to get. (I know I’m getting them because they told me…Winking smile)

And, for those of you who find this holiday bittersweet and sad (for whatever reason…), a special, big hug to you!

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3 Comments

  1. Yes, Rita, we know the bittersweet this holiday can bring. We are missing our sweet Mama and it is also the 15th anniversary of the day we lost our Dad.
    I talk to and hug your mom every week. There is a glint in her eye that makes me feel she knows I’m somebody but I have not been able to get any words from her lately. She seems quite content.
    Enjoy your family on this Mother’s Day! God Bless~

  2. Thanks for hugging my mom for me, Carolyn! Blessings to you and your family. I’ve got such great memories of your mom and dad, too. My most vivid one was seeing your mom’s amazing Christmas gingerbread house!

  3. I miss my Mum too and can’t believe she has been gone for so long. She was a quiet warrior who adored all three of her kids. She did everything for us and never complained about the challenges she often faced. Such a great woman. I know how hard is for you to think of your Mum in Montana but keep happy thoughts in your heart because those are the memories that are most important. We just got back from a cruise with Dan’s Mum for her 88th birthday and were reminded that this might be the last of such events for her. It is sad to see them in decline so we hae to keep those happy memories in the forefront of our minds. Bless you as you get a rare chance to have Brad, Joel, and Colin all home at once! I’ll bet it was fun!

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