Calling Mom to Share Some Really Big News

It’s been 7 years since the day my sister and I sat in the Dr’s office with our Mom and got her official diagnosis:

Dementia.

As the days and years progress, she fades further and further away from the vibrant, talkative, lullaby-singing woman she used to be.

I fully understand that her address here on earth will probably soon be changed to the golden streets of Heaven.

me-and-mom-cropped.jpg

Although I’ve already cried a boat load of tears during these years of the long good-bye, the truth is, I miss her terribly.

The ache of loss is most severe during hard days of struggle. You know, those times  that your heart is breaking and you feel so alone.  On those days, I want to pick up the phone and have my Mom again. She had a way of helping me process difficult situations with calmness, clarity, and wisdom…and intersperse it all generously with a heap of laughter.

I miss her on my sad days.

But, the other day? The other day was a whole new experience for me.

It was a very happy day.

It was a day full of anticipation and waiting and wondering and preparing ourselves for anything.

It was a day full of paperwork and signatures and phone calls and texts.

And then…we got the call.

As I squealed and danced a little jig and high-fived and hugged, all the sudden, I looked at my husband and said,

“Oh, I want to call my mom! She would be so happy with us!”

For those few minutes, I forgot.

I forgot the reality of her health today and remembered the person who used to answer the phone so far away…

So, today, just for now, can you play a little game for me?

Will you pretend you’re my mom?

Your phone is about to ring, and I’ll be on the other end.

Ok? Ready?

big news

Ring…ring…

After the initial greetings, she’d probably ask this simple little question, as she’d already know all the prior details:

“Well..???”

And I’d answer with a squeal and laugh and say…

“WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!”

We’d laugh and talk and interrupt each other and she’d want to hear the whole story.

I’d tell her how we narrowed down our options to 3 and put an offer on our very favorite one of the bunch.

I’d explain that it had only been listed for 2 days.

And we got on it and put our offer in lickety split…

but there was also another offer…

so we had to go into a multiple offers scenario…

and I was totally prepared for it to fall through…

but, it didn’t!

As we were on our way to the beautiful mountain top wedding I wrote about Monday, the text we’d been praying for came through…

Your offer was accepted. The contract is signed.”

I would also assure her that I understand that something could still “fall through” at this point until the subjects are lifted in about 2 weeks.

But, for now, I’m dancing a happy jig, planning furniture arrangements, and letting myself actually fall in love with the cute little townhouse that will {hopefully} be ours in just 2 months.

And, at some point, she’d say,

“Well, I’ve been praying God would work out all the details, and He sure is!”

Yes. Yes, He is!

***

As I contemplated this little imaginary conversation with my mom, I also smiled at the other scenario I imagine might have been a reality if she were still healthy.

She’d probably head right on over to an airline site and book tickets so she could come help me move.

As you are so good at playing this game of pretending you’re my mom, you can skip that part…

I don’t quite know what I’d do if you all showed up at my door with moving boxes!!;)

PS. This post about the time Mom sang with us is still one of my most precious memories…

PPS. And if you don’t know about our house hunting journey, here’s how it started out:

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5 Comments

  1. Congratulations!! So happy for you and your family.
    Can’t wait to see the pictures and what you will do over time.

  2. Congratulations…and I agree, it is in those moments of excitement when we forget they are gone, wether thru dementia or death. My moms been gone 2 1/2 years after a very short battle with cancer that lasted 1 day less than a month 2 Christmases ago. It barely gets easier but we do find creative ways to make up for it…praying all your subjects come off without a hitch…blessings Karen

  3. Happy Birthday, Rita!! and congratulations on your new townhouse!! Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman.

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