A Fight to the Finish…

I stepped on a road the other day that I haven’t dared  tread for 18 years.

18 years, people!

Although I started out rested and refreshed and full of optimism, it ended up being as dreadful as I expected.

sweating woman

My feet throbbed. My arms ached. My hair fell. My deodorant didn’t live up to its claims.

There were moments that sucked the breath right out of me.  Claustrophobia finally made sense.

The trained professional standing an appropriate distance away was the only thing that kept me going.   Her well-timed words of “are you ok in there?” was the cheering section I needed to keep persevering.

Agony. Despair. And eventually, victory.

6 hours from start to the finish line.


As I hobbled out to my van in my cute but incredibly impractical boots, I held in my hand the bag containing the object of such agony ~

A swimsuit.

{For Maui!!}

cartoon beach

Please tell me some of you identify with my experience??


Here are a few important lessons I learned in my character growing, foot aching experience:

1.  The experts will be your friends.

2.  When you look them in the eye and whisper, “Do you have anything for a desperate middle-aged woman looking for a miracle?”, they will laugh and assure you with great words of confidence.

3.  As the above said professional goes around with confidence pulling things from racks that will be “perfect for you”, gird up, girls.  The prices of swimsuits have escalated in 18 years.

4.  The increment of swimsuit pricing is dependent upon the thickness of the fabric and the amount of “miracle” included in such fabric.

5.  If you need alot in the “miracle department”, face it right now…it’s gonna cost you.


If I’ve learned anything during these years of blogging, I know you’re a curious bunch.  Details is what you’re after.  If I were to guess what you’d want to see right now, it would be the actual swimsuit that I ended up buying.

Well, I aim to please.  But, if you think I’m going to flash up cute little pictures of me wearing the swimsuit…  Nope.  It just ain’t happenin’.

I set out to find something with two requirements.  It needed to make me look: {A.} Drop dead gorgeous and

{B.} At least 10 pounds thinner.

I quickly amended that to be: {A.} Kinda cute and

{B.} Able to breathe in…

bathing suit quote

Of course, I can’t find the exact pieces online that I bought, but it’s the neckline (a little less “high”) and racer back of this one combined with the empire waist and tie of this one. {It is by the company AquaGreen.} I thought it was quite wonderful (and greatly camaflouging) when paired with these swim shorts from Nike.  {Mine are black and don’t have the word “GUARD” printed on the bum, though.  Thank heavens.  I don’t think words belong on bums…}

The top I found here in Canada in Swimco and the shorts in Sears.  The dear girl in Swimco deserves a medal for her sweetness and “expertise”.  Without her, I would be packing in my 18 year old classic black number (That my husband firmly informed me he’s “THROWING OUT!!”  Can you believe it?…Smile).

She was discreet and professional enough that if I  for instance,  perhaps got completely entwined in a mass of lycra and straps firmly stuck half-way on to my head…

I could even whisper…”help…”

and she would have.

But, thankfully, I didn’t have to…

{Whew!  That was scary!}

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  1. ‘Kinda cute… and able to breathe in…’
    Rita, that had me giggling! Glad you found something. I believe swimsuit shopping is dreaded by everyone… it’s so scary! Have fun in Maui cute girl! xo

  2. Most people dread the bathingsuit battle, myself included! While is seems to be the most available style, the string bikini is meant for a very small percentage of the population 🙂

  3. I died laughing!! Too funny and I can relate 100% – had the same experience 3 years ago just before going to the hot springs with Jo. Thanks for sharing!!

  4. Loved your story because I can sooooo relate 🙂 Went to Maui in january – it is FANTASTIC!!! Loved every minute of it and I am ready to go back!

  5. Did you say what color you bought? I bet you could do a picture if you stage it right: maybe standing behind a bar or sitting at a table. When I had to do the dreaded deed, it was September of 2010, and I found some great end-of-season sales so I bought 3!

  6. Funny! but Oh so true! thanks for sharing! I also wear a top & swim shorts—found some great end of season clearance through Lands End.

  7. Well Rita, my dear. I am not among those who relate. I mean, come on – ten pounds thinner? Try looking for a suit that makes you look maybe…50 pounds thinner and about 25 years younger…and then I’ll sympathize. HAHAHA

    I am soooo excited that you’re going to Maui! We have been to Oahu to see Derek several times and everyone kept telling us we needed to see Maui too. But, until last week, we never did it! And oh my. What we have been missing! I told Derek, “I am never coming to Oahu again. You are going to have to come and meet us on Maui!” You are in for a REAL treat!! Have tons of fun.

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